CATR Family Stuff

A month or two ago, our family had the privilege of attending my cousin’s wedding.  She got married in the mountains of North Carolina – oh my goodness, it was absolutely beautiful up there!  The wedding was at a camp that is very special to the couple and it couldn’t have been more of a perfect place for the ceremony – not as much because of the scenery (which was gorgeous), but mainly because of what it symbolized to them in their journey with Christ in their relationship.  The whole weekend was definitely a celebration of what God had done through them, what He was going to do through their marriage, and who He had used to help develop, grow, and strengthen them in their walk with the Lord.  Here is a couple that wasn’t just trying to have a “Christian” wedding and would eventually grow into their faith as the years progressed.  No, here is a couple that is all about the Lord NOW – I can’t even describe it – their faith just radiates from them.  This is a couple that is going to use their marriage to glorify God, no doubt…

…And here is a couple that treasured the relationships God brought into their lives along the way and honored them.  To say they were surrounded by a mass of people that had impacted their lives for the Lord would be an understatement.  There were people from every stage of their lives – all gathered far away from home to honor their precious Christian friends.  The words that were shared, the stories told, and the apparent love of friends showed that God had used all of these friends and family in such an incredible way in each other’s lives.   To have the privilege of watching the wedding party join around the bride and groom right before the ceremony, praying over them, and then lifting up their voices together in a praise song to God brought tears to my eyes.  I was so thankful that my oldest daughter (in her first experience as a flower girl) got to be a part of a truly godly wedding.

The whole thing really unsettled me (in a good way) and got me thinking (which doesn’t take much) about something I believe God has been making very REAL to me lately…who your child chooses to marry is huge.  I think we all know that, in fact, for many of us that’s a “duh” statement.  But do you really KNOW it?  Does it resonate in your soul?  Do you realize the huge impact that one decision makes on a lifetime? 

I think one of the biggest things that hit me that weekend (yet another “duh” thing, but a reminder I definitely needed to hear) is something that happened at the rehearsal dinner.  The groom’s grandfather stood up and shared that as a young father he and his wife had been challenged to pray for their children’s future spouses.  He shared that they took the challenge, even though that seemed so far off, as they were just beginning to expand their family and the children they had were very small.  He said time after time they would diligently pray for those future husbands and wives, not knowing who they were, or when they would come.  Here was a man that I could tell was so sincere – the passion and emotion in his words made it very obvious that he had, indeed, been on his knees for his family.  Now, he said, that they are all grown and have grown children, he and his wife have been fervently praying as well for his grandchildren’s future spouses.  It was so moving for him to look at my cousin and tell her that he had been praying specifically for her – although he didn’t always know who she was, she had been in his prayers for years and years.  And now it was very clear that she was the answer to those prayers.

Do we want that moment with all of our heart for our children?  Are we fervently praying for our children and who they will choose to spend a lifetime with?  We need to focus on the end just as much as we focus on the everyday little things.  We are raising what are most likely future husbands, wives, fathers, and mothers.  They will live under their own roof much longer than they will live under ours.  Do our prayers and our training reflect our goals for the kind of person we want them to become?  Do our prayers and our training show our children that God’s heart for them is to marry someone that loves and serves Him above anything else?  Do we realize the heaviness of it all?  I want to be like that grandfather – to be able to see generation after generation following hard after God and training their children to do the same.  What a treasure that would be!  Lord, make me a prayer warrior for my children.  Impress your heart on their little hearts!

For suggestions on praying for your children click on this link – it has 31 topics listed for prayer for your children - something specific to pray for each day of the month…

http://www.navpress.com/Assets/PDF/Product/Sample/9781576839003.pdf

or better yet, make up your own list that’s unique to your children – come up with one for each day of the month and then start over on the 1^st each time.  As they grow, adjust it to fit that stage of life.

 The Chronicles of Narnia: Prince Caspian! 

 The Ridge is sponsoring a free showing of Narnia- Prince Caspian for the first 600 people in our community that show up. The remaining 500 will be admitted for $4.50. Get to Movies 278 in Hiram early! Doors will open at 9:30 am. A few things to consider…

• No saving spots in line, nor tickets. Each individual will be given ONE ticket as they come and must stay in line to keep it. You will not be able to come early for your family or come and leave.
• Children must be accompanied by an adult. Please don’t just drop your kids off! Come as a Family!
• This Sunday, May 18th, we will be kicking off an exciting series called “Finding the Truth In Narnia“. Invite your friends & neighbors.

Can’t wait to see what God has in store!

Last Sunday night was family night and my daughter came up with the activity. She found it in her Bible. It’s a great Bible -  The Hands On Bible. She loves to look through it and is really starting to be able to read it herself. What a blessing!  Anyway, after dinner, we headed outside to do the activity. It was a simple idea about finding two sticks from the outdoors, then connecting them together with a pipe cleaner to make a cross. I explained to the kids that we were looking for two sticks and they could go anywhere in our yard to find them. So we started to head to the backyard. I looked behind us and here comes three of the neighborhood kids. I have to admit, I was thinking, “Man, what are they doing here?  We’re trying to have our family night”.  Don’t get me wrong, I love these kids, I just was feeling a little protective of the night that was supposed to be just us.  Instead of sending them home, though, I thought, why not let them join us tonight, they were all already busy looking for two sticks too anyway. Once they all collected them, we went back to the  driveway and everyone sat in a circle. I’m sure the parents looked out and thought, that’s weird, why is Wendell sitting in a circle with our kids?   It makes me laugh a little thinking about it.  I explained the rest of the activity and we begin to make our crosses. They actually turned out well. I asked the question,  ”What does this symbol remind us of?”  I got a lot of different responses and I got the chance to talk about the cross to the kids. One of the kids said, “My mom won’t let me go to church, but I want to go”.  Wow- that broke my heart.  I ended the conversation and asked if anyone wanted to pray. One of my daughters raised their hand and prayed.  It was really cool to see her being a light to her neighborhood friends.  

The whole thing got me thinking about what a responsibility God has given us to be light whenever and wherever we are.  So many times we go throughout our everyday life and forget that the people and circumstances God puts in our path are for a reason.  The circumstances that seem inconvenient, we should look at from God’s perspective.  Just like the kids coming over that night.  In God’s eyes, it was for a reason.  Maybe a small seed was planted in one of the kid’s hearts.  Maybe it was for one of my own children to understand what it really means to live out your faith.  Maybe it was for me or Emily to learn something.  Or maybe all of the above.  And to think I almost missed the opportunity because I was trying to guard our Family Night so closely.  The kids actually learned more that night about reaching out than they would have learned with what I had originally planned.  That’s the cool thing about God - His way is always better. 

Are we teaching our kids to be open to opportunities to reach out?  Are we teaching them to be open to a change of plans to go with God’s plan instead?  Are we teaching them to look for ways to be a light to others around them?  If they see it in our lives, its much easier for them to follow.  Do they see it in us? 

Interesting facts about Chick-fil-a

• You can get 52 combo meals simply by being one of the first 100 individuals at a new chick-fil-a opening. Thats worth over $260- I’ve done it twice. You have to camp out the night before but its a blast.
• Did you know you can order (1) nugget! It’s true- ask next time your there.
• Coupons never expire. If you have an outdated coupon they will still honor it.
• The Chick-fil-a in Hiram will give you a free sandwich with a Movies 278 ticket stub.
• The Chick-fil-a cow never talks. Its part of the rules! There is a moo manifesto!
• You can turn in your kids toy for a free Ice cream- as long as it has not been opened. No matter how old the toy is!
• If you buy 2 kids meals- you get 8 nuggets, 2 small fries, 2 drinks, & 2 ice creams for cheaper then you can buy a 8 nugget combo.

*On May 19th, there will be a 4 1/2 cent increase on all goods, but they are coming out with new chicken strips (bigger), a new salad, a new wrap, a new menu board, & a few more surprises included a new sauce. Gotta love Chick-fil-a especially since they are closed on Sundays!!

Before God moved my family to The Ridge,  a good friend and I did a lot of turkey hunting in Jones County. I got hooked from day one. There’s something about getting to the woods before the sun comes up and just being still and listening to the woods wake up. From owls hooting, to birds chirping, squirrels waking up, to that one sound we were listening for…the turkeys gobbling! Wow! It will get your heart rate a pumping! Girls, you won’t understand. It’s that wild at heart thing that just makes us guys be guys. Calling the birds to you is one of the hardest things to do because ultimately you’re trying to mimic a hen call and, well, let’s just say, I’m not very good at it. Actually, I stink at it. It takes a certain skill and much practice to sound like a hen. The small group that I lead is reading a book called “12 ordinary men”. It breaks down each disciple and gives great detail about who they were. Recently we studied about Andrew. Andrew was called by God and had a skill that many of the other disciples didn’t have. Although he was only mentioned in the gospels 9 times, he was very wise and had a God-given ability to reach out to men. He was actually the one that brought Peter (his brother) to Christ. He was a very humble individual, not taking any credit for tasks that God made happen through him and he was very approachable. He was the guy who brought the 5 fish & 2 loaves of bread to Jesus when Jesus feed the 5000 + - the boy brought his lunch to Andrew and Andrew took it to Jesus. He was an ordinary man who simply spent time with individuals leading them to Christ. He didn’t have the gift to speak to millions or be a dynamic leader, but he did have a skill that God gave him to build relationships. He actually felt so comfortable with Jesus that other men would bring guys to Andrew so he could introduce them to Jesus. He had a simple call from God but he used it in a huge way. We could learn a lot from Andrew.  God gives us all specific skills and gifts.  We need to define and work on the skills God gave us, and then use those to reach people in our realms instead of trying to be something we’re not.  Andrew was content to be who God made him to be and used his skills to bring glory to the one that blessed him with those skills.  We should do the same.  If we let Him, God will do amazing things through us too.

• We have a special birthday plate that the Birthday child uses for each meal.  (me and Emily use it too when our birthday rolls around) 
• They get one small present everyday.
• We give them a few choices of what they want to do for their actual birthday.  For instance, this year our daughter had the choice of a party with some friends, a dinner at Chuck E Cheese’s just the five of us, or a family day at the zoo. Shechose to go to the zoo, but it looks like rain, so we might have to postpone until next week.
• Instead of giving cards to eachother each year, each family member has a birthday journal that we all write something in (even our two year old). We each write a meaningful note to the Birthday girl or guy (the kids draw a picture in the journal and tell us what to write for them) - we write about things they did that year, reminders of special events that went on during that past year, and special things we love about that person.  I hate to admit I was against this tradition at first because I hate to write, but it’s going to be cool one day to read what my wife and children said about me each year of my life.  And I think it will be something the kids will treasure reading through even as adults.  I encourage everyone to do this. Its only a one time cost for the journal.  At our house, you get to read your journal the morning of your actual birthday.   
• We have their favorite meals throughout the week and their favorite cake and ice cream, of course, on their actual birthday. 
• We try to do special things throughout the week that don’t cost anything but that they love to do - a picnic, go to the park, run errands with dad, etc.
• Everything we do, we try to make sure its balanced - we want them to feel special and loved but not develop a sense of greed or indulgence.  We remember we have to live with them the next week when its all over!

• Help them develop life skills for prayer.  Teach your kids skills about their personal time with God that they can carry with them as they grow into teenagers and adults.  One thing we do is to teach the kids to journal.  Now, when this first came up, I wasn’t a big fan – it sounded great, but I thought it was just going to get added to the long list of things to do before bed that I dreaded.  I thought it would become monotonous for the kids too and we’d end up arguing over it more than anything.  I was shocked at the outcome.  This will be something we do for years.  It has totally transformed our nighttime routine – we love it and the kids love it.  Here’s what we do and the rules for “journal time”: 

1. 1. Journals are the very last thing we do before lights out – everyone’s ready for bed, story has been read, prayers said, potty done, teeth brushed, etc.
   2. Both kids get in the bed with their journals (ours is a 99 cent notebook from Walmart with lined paper in it) and their bag of colored pencils.  We turn on the lamp and their nighttime praise music.
   3. This is a time to spend just with God before bed – no talking to one another; no getting out of bed; no playing; if they get done early, they may sit and look at books or read their Bible.
   4. We leave the room and give them about 10 minutes.  In that ten minutes they are to complete their journal entry for that day.
   5. For the entry, they are to come up with something they want to communicate with God about that day.  We tell them to either tell God something they want to thank Him for, or something they learned about Him that day, or something He taught them that day.
   6. They draw a picture of what they chose and then when we come back in the room, they explain the picture to us and we write exactly what they say and date it. We even label the people / things in the picture so we can tell later what it is. 

This simple act every night has given us so much insight into our children’s hearts.  The things they draw and write are precious.  Not only that, but it calms them down before bed and makes the transition so much smoother.  They go to bed thinking on Godly things.  Our oldest has been learning to spell and read so she now is writing her own description and date so that has been cool to see a progression already.  We started this when they were 3 and 5 years old and in less than a year, growth is already happening.  We hope that this will turn into a life skill, where eventually, as they get older, they will learn to write prayers in their journal on their own and pour their heart out to God – good times and hard times.  Its NOT a diary – it’s a way of talking with God on paper.  The kids are learning that they can pour their heart out to God by speaking words, by writing words, by drawing pictures, by being quiet before him.  

• Pray FOR your kids.  I know it sounds simple but don’t overlook it.  Pray for them (with your spouse).  Pray for them to have a healthy attitude about prayer.  Pray for all the things they struggle with.  Pray for their heart to soften and them to love spending time with God.  Cry out to God on their behalf.  More to come on praying for your kids on the next post…

• Help them see the answers to prayers.  There’s nothing that will excite a kid more about prayer than to see their prayers get answered in a tangible way.  Teach your kids that all prayers are answered – it may not always be the way we had in mind – but God always answers us when we pray.  Help them see this by keeping a family prayer notebook.  Whenever you have your normal time during the day to pray together as a family, keep up with the things you are praying about in a notebook.   Write it down, with the date, and then write the outcome when it happens.  This is a great way for kids to begin to see God working through prayer and it will spark lots of great conversations in your family.  There may be things you pray about for a very long time – or for a very short time.  There may be things that were answered very unexpectedly – when we are praying for God’s will and that He would do with that request what pleases Him, we will begin to see God’s plan unfold, and many times His plan is full of surprises! 
• Make prayer creative.  Every once in a while…go outside and talk to God under the stars; have a prayer time where everyone has a different letter of something to praise God for and try to make it through the alphabet, or have a theme letter for that particular time; thank God for a specific member of the family and all their positive qualities; kneel beside the window; hold hands; sit back to back locking arms and at the end of your time with God have everyone try to stand up at the same time without using their hands…just be creative and fun and make prayer time memorable and meaningful for your kids – help them to just enjoy being with God and with your family.  

by Emily

So the question was asked after the last post on prayer how to cultivate a healthy attitude about prayer in our kids.  I certainly don’t know all the answers, but I thought I’d take a jab at it – totally based on things that have worked well with our kids…

1. Pray WITH them.  Don’t just tell them to pray about something.  Stop what you’re doing, take a few minutes, and pray with them.  You’re modeling for them a healthy attitude about prayer and showing them you care.  Even with your teenagers, pray with them about things.  Start with your kids when they are very little, so as the years pass its normal to them for you to pray together. 
2. Make prayer understandable.  Many times around our house we say “let’s talk to God about it” instead of always saying “let’s pray” – it changes it up a little and makes it more real.  Teach them to ask God for what His will is, not ours – that way they have more of a healthy view of God and how He answers prayer.  When you pray, talk to God like a friend and they will learn to do that too.

The other night, Emily cooked as usual and had everyone’s plates ready on the table. She’s an excellent cook! Our oldest daughter came and sat down and before she sat, she took a look at what was on her plate. Her immediate reaction was “ahh man, not again!”. Needless to say, I sent her straight to her room because we have a few rules around our house which you will find below. She was not happy, crying all the way to her room. Part of me wanted to just leave her up there and make her go to bed hungry and early. The other part of me felt sorry for her and thought she might starve (obviously I know she’s not going to starve). When I called for her, I had made my decision. If she had a change of heart during the time in her room, then she could come join us. If she still had an attitude, then I was going to send her to bed. I was praying when she answered me, that it was going to be positive. She did have a changed heart and was sorry for her actions and got to finish her meal. I need to be reminded sometimes myself- It’s not about the food, but about the cook. We need to honor the cook more and thank her/him for taking the time to serve us.